If we're to believe social media, advertising and televised holiday movies, the holidays are all about never-ending joyful moments. That leaves many of us wondering why, in reality, we often feel like 'tis the season for stress.
A significant factor could be the outsized expectations we have for the holidays, which largely stem from society and—let's face it—ourselves. And yet there is so much about the season to enjoy. The key is to create a plan to zone in on the activities and people that genuinely bring joy and disregard the rest. We've got you covered.
Do More. Eight Ways to Feed Your Joy.
1. Think about what truly brings you joy during the season
Before you begin saying yes to invitations and events that will fill up your calendar, remember that streamlining can often bring the most joy. Now is the time to think back and make a list of the moments of holidays past you found most meaningful. Then use those notes to schedule intentionally, ensuring you're prioritizing what brings true joy rather than being inundated with obligations. This allows you to redirect your time, energy and money to events that really matter.
That list also might alert you to any gaps in impactful activities you want to add to your calendar, or highlight a desire to expend more energy volunteering and giving back to others. Then, after the holidays, don't forget to reflect on what you especially enjoyed or what you might have missed. That can help you focus on the most memorable traditions for the following year.
2. If you intend to pare back, be up front with family and friends
While streamlining the holiday may boost your joy, you don't want to blindside close friends who expect to attend a holiday music performance together, or extended family members who assume they'll spend the first night of Hanukkah at your house. Often, it's the hassle of the event that's involved, rather than the people—so see if you can scale back to a festive brunch with your friends and a potluck with your family. The key is to underscore that it's the event (and the work that comes with it) that you'd like to skip—not the time spent with them.
Of course, there are occasions when a simple “I'm sorry I can't attend this year" is completely acceptable. Say it guilt-free and revel in the joy of not baking and packaging dozens of treats for the cookie exchange or skipping the neighbor's cocktail party that you dread because you only know a handful of people.
3. Try something new
With your scaled-back calendar, you may discover free time you didn't expect. Often, joy comes from the unexpected, and planning a new adventure can spark your holiday spirit. The best kinds of excursions are often those that are relaxed—and maybe even spontaneous. Rather than buying advance tickets, dressing up and fighting traffic and crowds to see a spectacle, find the joy in your own neighborhood with a light walk or snowman-making competition (and don't forget the hot chocolate at the end!).
Beware of calling this new activity a “tradition," which implies it will happen every year. Give it a whirl, and if it brings joy to all involved, by all means consider doing it again. But if the fun factor was minimal, move on to something else.
4. Do less—of everything
A busy calendar isn't the sole seasonal joy sapper. Often the holidays become about “more" everything—buying, decorating, baking and visiting. Here's another chance to consider the seasonal highlights you most enjoy. If you love to make holiday treats, focus on one or two of the most special ones, rather than giving up days shopping and preparing an entire bakery's worth. Pick a few of your favorite decorations to put out, rather than having your home overtaken by clutter. You may find the less there is of something, the more joy it brings.
5. Stop scrolling
It's been said that “comparison is the thief of joy," and probably nothing invites more opportunity to compare than social media. Examine your own habits—do you follow social media accounts that lift you up and encourage you, or ones that leave you feeling envious or blue? Remember that everyone's social media is their “highlight reel," carefully curated to present their best self. But even taking that into account, it can still take a toll. So if you find yourself feeling less joyful after a social media session, give it a rest.
6. Give to others
You've heard the adage that it's better to give than receive, and there's no time that sentiment feels more apt than when you're trying to find joy in the holidays. There's certainly no shortage of worthy organizations requesting funds this time of year, but before just giving to the first one that asks, think about what issues you're passionate about and would like to address. While there's no wrong answer, it's important to give thoughtfully.
Once you've determined the causes you'd like to support, research and compare related charities on sites like Charity Navigator or GuideStar to learn more about their mission and how they spend their dollars to ensure it's a legitimate organization that aligns with your values. Many people use Giving Tuesday as a catalyst to give to favored causes.
Another way to really feel the holiday spirit is to immerse yourself in a cherished cause by volunteering. Whatever your comfort level, there's sure to be a project that fits, whether it's serving meals at a shelter, packing and delivering food boxes, wrapping presents or knitting blankets. You might even decide to make it a group effort and volunteer with loved ones, neighbors or colleagues. Not sure where to start? VolunteerMatch is a service that lists short-term opportunities in numerous cities.
And don't overlook the power of “random acts of kindness" to bring joy to you and others. Pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru, leave a surprise gift or note for the delivery person or shovel your neighbor's sidewalk. It will give both you and the recipient a welcome jolt of joy.
7. Give to yourself—whether it's time or something to make you smile
As you give to others, give yourself something, too. That might mean pampering yourself with an at-home spa day (or a real spa day if your budget allows!); or if “indulging" to you looks like munching popcorn and watching sappy movies by yourself, more power to you. For others, it could mean buying themselves a little treat while they're trudging through the mall, tackling their gift list. Decide what small splurge will bring you joy and build it into your holiday budget, guilt-free.
Giving to yourself also means keeping healthy habits and self-care practices top of mind. It's harder to feel joy if you're exhausted, and that can easily happen when you forgo your regular eating and exercise plan. However, don't be rigid by depriving yourself of seasonal favorites. If you know you have a decadent meal ahead, balance it with a fresh salad at lunch. A brisk walk outside can also boost your energy and allow you to experience joy by being more fully present. And nothing zaps joy faster than being tired, so make sure you get those ZZZs. Then remember to set boundaries if you feel as though your calendar is getting out of control. Spending a quiet evening relaxing is bound to replenish you.
8. Cultivate mindfulness and gratitude
Try simple practices like journaling three things you're thankful for each day or three things that went well that day. Use morning affirmations to get a hectic day off on the right note. Find a mantra like “I am thankful for the opportunities today will bring" or “I am grateful for the love and support I have in my life."
Also, find a quiet time to reflect on the highlights and accomplishments of the past year, and begin looking forward to how you can make the upcoming year even more joyful.
Save More
While you're at it, give yourself the joy of a stronger financial new year. Considering that finances can be a major source of stress during the holidays, prioritizing your financial wellness could help relieve your mental load.
In fact, think of your holiday budget as a way to permit yourself to spend money, rather than viewing it punitively. Then, focus on creating healthy financial habits for the upcoming year. Now is the time to look into a high yield savings account or certificate of deposit that will give "future you" the ability to spend intentionally on the things that give you comfort and joy.
READ MORE: 14 Grinch-Free Ways to Save Money This Holiday Season
